I recently read “Letters To Women Like Me” by best-selling author, Mirtha Michelle Castro Mármol and a few points struck me, some of which I actually discussed with my cousin in the process of doing the book review.
Why is it that other guys, other than our boyfriends, will point out how we should be treated, or fulfill duties our significant others may have missed? I’ve been lucky enough to have met, whom I believe to be, the love of my life. He’s honest, kind, funny, smart, handsome and my best friend, but we’re also in our 20’s and everyone knows being in your 20’s is difficult, let alone being on two different time zones now that I live in NYC and he in LA.
So what struck me?
The author Mirtha Michelle reminded readers that it’s not a crime to have expectations. If you want to be treated a certain way, and whoever you’re dating can’t fulfill that, then don’t feel bad for voicing how you feel. If he can’t step up to the plate, someone else gladly will.
The book talks about consistency and the importance of it in a relationship. You can’t make me feel great for a weekend and think you did your job, just as I can’t expect you to be happy with that either. Relationships take work, so I expect both of us to work at it and if his efforts come to an end, guess what, so will mine. Isn’t that the way relationships go now-a-days anyway?
Like, Mirtha, and a lot of girls who won’t admit they require attention, I know I do and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t need to be stalked, but I need to feel wanted and loved and if you can’t do that, please don’t waste my time and let it be known from start. I like to remind myself that there’s a reason for everything, people are placed in your life to teach you lessons in life and vice versa.
One thing I loved about this book was the fact that the author made me realize that someone who I thought had broken my heart, didn’t actually do that, but instead hurt my ego. I’m a very proud, tough girl (thanks dad!) and the fact that this guy taught me lessons about who I was and who “bad boys” were at such a young age made me bitter about the dating scene. Again, I met my boyfriend when I was very young and I haven’t dated a lot but when I did, I always had that guy in the back of my head. He without a doubt, tainted any future chance any guy had with me, other than the guy I knew I loved. But I’m glad I dated and learned because it made me appreciate genuine people. I’m sure those guys were genuine people in their own ways, but not in my personal experience with them.
Imprisoned by sex is something that happens far too frequently. Often times we find ourselves in relationships that lack any sense of stability but we stay. Why do we stay in such toxic relationships? Sex! Sometimes we feel that we can’t find somebody that can make us feel the way that man has made us feel or perhaps we desperately try to avoid adding another body count to our list. Whatever the reason, it all comes back to being vulnerable. Fuck being vulnerable we as woman in 2017 need to leave our 1950s mindset in 1950. In the past, I found myself in a relationship that solely revolved around sex. I mean the guy was a total pessimist. We had nothing in common but the fact that we had great sex. We literally would not say a word to one another but once we hit the sheets it was like magic. I then began to ask myself was this the type of relationship I wanted? I came to terms that it was not and that I wanted the best of both worlds and he was only able to provide me with one.
“Letters, To Women Like Me” was a great reminder that you need to embrace who you are and remind the guy you’re dating that as well. It’s a new world and you don’t have to dumb yourself down, just live life and know what you deserve and with confidence go after it.
Letters, To Women Like Me is available, visit www.mirthamichelle.com/pages/books
By: Rose Barraza and Jacklyn Tejeda