Whether you’re single, just dating or in a committed relationship, you are bound to take a trip in the future. It’s always a good idea to know the latest dating and relationship tips as a modern woman who likes to travel. Who better to hear it from than writer, public speaker, dating and relationship expert James Sama.
What inspired you to be a Dating & Relationship Expert?
James: It sparked from a lack of satisfaction with dating and relationships. Not just my own, but a mass amount of people who would complain about the opposite sex. Women complain about men. Men complain about women. I grew up in an old-fashioned family where my parents are still romantic with each other. That was my idea of a normal relationship. I saw how happy they were. I would always see people who were complaining and say, “You guys aren’t doing the basic things.” This is why things are not working these days.
What is your definition of a gentleman?
James: Somebody who holds himself to a higher set of standards than society holds him to. Someone who takes pride in their actions, appearance and how they treat others. Shows respect to everyone and everything around him.
Do you think the commitment issue is a geographic, age or universal dilemma?
James: Honestly, I have spoken to a lot of people who would say, “Well, that sounds like a problem for this area, city or age group.” Then I will talk to somebody else who is on the complete opposite of the spectrum and they are having the exact same challenges. I think it’s a societal shift that’s happening and it’s affecting a lot of people everywhere.
Do you have any hope or advice for the modern woman out there who wants to find her Mr. Right?
James: I do have hope. I honestly do because I think that this satisfaction and avoidance of commitment is a symptom of society that we created. Like upgrading your phone or car every year- this disposable society has translated itself into our relationships. Everybody is always looking for the next best thing. Eventually it could take six months to five years- I don’t think there’s anyway to predict it. People are going to have no choice but to understand that building that deep and solid connection with somebody is really the only way to find what they are looking for in terms of a relationship. I put my money on that every single day, somebody is going “You know what, I am tired of this. The chase is not bringing me what I want, so I would like to be in a relationship.”
What are your top tips for single women who travel?
James: As a single woman, I use a little caution in saying, “yeah, just go out by yourself and explore the city.” I think we all know that’s probably not the safest suggestion to make these days unfortunately. But I would say to be open to meeting new people, exploring and trying new things. It’s easy to say I am going to go to the hotel bar then call it a night. There’s so much opportunity to really expand your own horizons and have experiences that you want to have. Surround yourself with people who are also open minded and interested in the same things you are interested in. You will always look back on a story. Everyone says hindsight is 20/20. It’s true in the sense that you might have an experience five years from now, where you might go “if I hadn’t gone to that one museum in Rome- I would not have stumbled across this guy and texted him for three weeks and then traveled to see him again.” It’s all about setting all that into motion, keeping your self open to new experiences and meeting new people.
What are your top tips for couples that want to travel together?
James: Do it before you get married. Every couple should travel together, especially before they get married. It teaches you a lot about the person. You could have a delayed flight, luggage could get lost or your hotel could be a mess. You experience so many different parts of a person during travel that it’s really important to see all the sides of a person before you really commit your life to them. Aside from that, the beautiful part about traveling together is that you both get to experience something new for the first time. Getting outside of your comfort zone, pushing the boundaries and doing something that’s different for the both of you should be the number one priority. No matter where your life brings you or how long your relationship lasts, that is an experience you will always have. Creating new experiences with the person that you’re with is a way to bring you guys closer together.
Is there an ideal time in a relationship for a couple to travel together?
James: I’s really dependent on the relationship itself. People move at their own pace. The requirement would be that you are both in a committed monogamous relationship. Some people might have that after a month or some people might wait four months to call it official. That kind of landmark so to speak is more important gage than a timeframe. If you love each other’s company and decide after three weeks that you want to be official, then go for it. It’s going to teach you a lot about that person regardless of what time you choose to do it. Then again, if you just started dating and you are on your second or third date that’s a little bit much. If you got comfortable enough to be committed to the person, then I it’s safe to take a trip.
For couples, who pays for the trip?
James: It depends on the stage of the relationship, for example a destination wedding. I was dating a woman and I was her plus one, she was bringing me so she offered to take on the trip. But if it was my friend and I invited her I would take care of it. As a general rule of thumb, if you invite someone somewhere typically you are the one who takes care of them. Especially if it’s early on, it’s a lot to ask of somebody to get on a plane, stay and do all these things. If you ask someone to bring with you, that’s on you to take care of it. But honestly, if the man has the ability to pay his way- he should do it. Or at least pay his own plane ticket. If you are married, that’s a different conversation.
Any final tips?
James: To understand the privilege and perspective that is gained from traveling. Odds are anyone who is reading this article, already knows this but it’s something that really changes your perspective on the world right now. I want to make this point; with all the craziness in the world I would not want it to prevent anyone from experiencing what life has to offer. We need to make sure we live our lives the best way we can. For traveling, do every single thing that you can because these experiences are going to be some of the only things you can look back on one day and paint a picture of your life.
Visit http://www.jamesmsama.com/ to learn more about James
By: Jeannette Ceja, Travel Contributor Jeannette Reports